| The Thirteenth |
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Posted by Matilda on October 24th, 2008 @ 12:24am
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I would just like to say that I, in fact, am perfectly healthy and perhaps those of you who are ill need to just man up a bit and suck it up. It isn't the plague and no one is dying (except possibly James, but that is not my fault - obviously a weak constitution). Really, t here is no reason to be so dramatic.
And why are we having a muggle studies excursion to London of all places? Who doesn't either go t o London on a regular basis or already live there (or in the surrounding vicinity)? It's insanity, obviously. Beckham has finally cracked and has gone totally nutters.
[Private to Dom/Perdie/Louis]
Well, if we're forced to go to London, should we visit some of our usual haunts? I'm not sticking to Beckham's itinerary. It's only October and I'm certain I can live a wonderfully fulfilled life only if I never have to s step foot inside another museum, church, or building of 'historic significance' while on a muggle studies excursion. Thus, I will be avoiding. Sorry if you have to go, Dom. I would try, but the thought makes me ill.
[/Private]
[Private to James]
Are you dead yet?
[/Private]
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| The Twelfth |
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Posted by Matilda on September 23rd, 2008 @ 10:37pm
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There is someone crying in the common room. This is Slytherin for fuck's sake. No crying allowed. I would suggest someone remove the leaking object before I have to do it. I'm wearing my favourite white blouse and blood stains don't come out of silk. I don't care what anyone says - there is no way to remove blood from silk while preserving the integrity of the fabric. I have coursework to revise and no time to deal with this. Honestly, you would think glaring would work. It usually does. Maybe if I hit her with a lamp I'll be far enough away to avoid the inevitable spatter. Head wounds always bleed. Disgusting.
Dom, love of my life, I adore you but we are never being handcuffed together again. I have bruises. I am a delicate flower after all. My petals. They are crushed.
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| The Eleventh |
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Posted by Matilda on September 9th, 2008 @ 7:13pm
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You should all wish you were in Slytherin. That is all.
[Private to Slytherins]
Party tonight. The astronomy tower. It's a strictly Slytherin affair and, should you think of inviting those from other houses, I'd think again. We're taking certain precautions and, if you were a friend, you wouldn't expose other friends to such things. The pain will be excruciating. Of course, we have it set so those who aren't invited will suddenly remember they have somewhere else to be, so this is only a secondary precaution. We'll be sure to have our first toast in honour of our missing Slytherin. After that, it's just good Slytherin fun.
[/Private]
[Private to Lorcan]
No. Harassment of club members is NOT ON. This is not your club. You are not head. I'm the one who puts all the work into it and I won't have you pestering members and ticking them off. If you do it again, you're out. No questions asked. You aren't a bad kid. Don't make me be mean.
[/Private]
Perdie. Dom. We need to talk wardrobe.
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| The Tenth |
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Posted by Matilda on September 7th, 2008 @ 12:49am
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Well, today was a bore and the waste of a completely good weekend day. It meant that I was stuck in with the entirety of my house, which, let me tell you, is not pleasurable. Then again, I suppose it could have been worse. I could have been stuck with the entirety of any other house.
Frankly, I have no idea what's going on, but I think Hogwarts needs to get their act together because keeping us all in the dark is only going to cause more problems and cause people to write extremely large in their journals. I'll be sending my medical bills to Gryffindor after my eyesight starts to fade. Thank you for the eye strain. Luckily, I think I'd look rather spectacular in a pair of wire cells. Then again, I think I look spectacular in most things. It's natural.
Have I mentioned that I'm bored already? Because I am.
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| The Ninth |
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Posted by Matilda on August 28th, 2008 @ 10:48pm
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We're back from Paris, which was absolutely amazing, as usual. Perdie and I had an idea to MAKE the new 'It' item this year rather than try to discover it and we were simply spectacular. Needless to say, when you see us in the Parisian edition of Charm (which is obviously the best), don't be surprised that we're with Alexei McPrince. He'd declared us his newest muses and will be at the brunch on Sunday. As usual, my grandparents, The Parkinson's, are throwing a back to school brunch for those that they feel are worthy company. I've been allowed to handle the invites this year for those still in Hogwarts, and this is my ( list. )
Please expect your invitations formally by owl soon. It's obviously formal attire, but, by this point, you all know. It's the same as last year and the year before that and the year before that, etc. Make sure you're presentable so you don't incur the wrath of the Grandmama.
We've got our costumes for the party and I'm very excited, mostly because mine has a riding crop. And I plan on hitting most of you with it. Plus the name is fantastic. Tildy, Dom, and I are doing a theme (naturally) and I think we all found the costume that suits each of us the best.
( If you'd like to see a preview )
For the full costume, you'll obviously have to come to the party. Girls, I think we'll be getting prizes for this. Isn't it exciting? I love winning.
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| The Eighth |
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Posted by Matilda on August 24th, 2008 @ 8:33pm
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We're leaving for Paris now. Dom, Louis - I've discussed it with Perdie and we're forgetting our bags and just buying new things there. You can pack if you like, but do it quickly. I need out. It's time our foursome takes Paris by storm and I've got us on the guest list for a killer party tonight. Hurry my loves!
Little Louis, we'll bring you back something especially tarty.
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| The Seventh |
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Posted by Matilda on August 18th, 2008 @ 5:27pm
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Is there something about my ass that says 'spankable' or something? Seriously. The next person to do it? Dies. I had my posterior smacked twice at the ball. It's ridiculous. TWATINGTON, you will die. I somehow think you're to blame for the second infraction as well.
It's so nice to be home in my own bed without so many people around. And a house elf to cater to my every whim. I have lots of whims, to be sure, and they need catering. Girls? Louis? We need to discuss Paris before this party. We also need to pick up something for your brother, Dom. I've promised to bring him something particularly attractive.
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| The Sixth |
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Posted by Matilda on August 13th, 2008 @ 4:21am
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For the record, I don't care who is dating who, who is going to what event with who, or what is going on in the romantic world of 90% of you. Really, can't you people keep some things private? I feel a little nauseous now.
Do you people realise the whole point of a masked ball is to be able to flirt with others? Having a date defeats the purpose. Really, it's ridiculous. I can't wait to be out of here and somewhere...else. Perdie, Dom, Louis: Paris? Preview shows are coming up.
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| The Fifth |
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Posted by Matilda on August 6th, 2008 @ 6:37am
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Do they really expect me to make friends with a muggle? Don't say I didn't warn you all in advance. This won't be pretty. Perdie? Shopping. And Louis, you're coming too. We have things that need to be discussed between the three of us.
Private to Perdie
Perdie, darling, how goes Operation Imminent Ruin? Have you made friends with the target yet? I'm bored. I think we should ruin someone's life a little faster, even if it isn't as thorough. Barbie can be our long term plan but we need something now. You know how I love instant gratification.
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| The Fourth |
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Posted by Matilda on August 3rd, 2008 @ 10:52am
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If anyone ever mentions me hugging you, the resulting penalty will be death. Just so you know.
In addition, if I find whoever left the hand print on my ass, you will die a slow, torturous death. If I see the hand that matches that print, retribution will follow soon after.
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